The Cause

It's not a slogan. It's a strategy.

Endure Together.
Speak with Courage.
Act as One.

A community in crisis

Every day in Australia, 7 men take their lives

(ABS, 2022)

Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women

(ABS, 2022)

In Australia, 75% of all suicides are by men

(ABS, 2022)

The statistics are harrowing. Behind every number is a broken family. A birthday that will never be celebrated again. A dream that will never be realised. A chair that remains empty at the dinner table. Tears. Funerals. Grief that ripples far beyond a single life.

And yet the loudest narrative is not sorrow. It is not outrage. It is blame.

Scroll through many a comment thread on social media, sit in on a panel discussion, listen to the undertone in everyday conversation in a variety of settings and the starting point sounds reasonable enough: men should be emotionally self-aware, skilled communicators, active parents equal partners and psychologically literate. All seemingly valid expectations... except they are rarely explicitly taught in our society to either gender.

Despite this, those same conversations often end with the sentiment that men are not meeting expectations, that they are no longer needed as providers and that they are incapable of care or emotional maturity.

Toxic slop! Unconstructive, damaging and demeaning.

Men are undergoing the most rapid redefinition of identity in modern history, and before the pieces have even fallen in their place, they are expected to already have adapted, and able to demonstrate skills and capacities that were never clearly defined let alone consistently modelled.

And the result - more isolation, and more people influenced by polarised, algorithm-driven narratives that push them to the extremes. Extremes that either further demean men, risking more sons, fathers and brothers and others that hone masculinity into a weapon against women, putting strain on relationships, creating conflict and elevating rates of domestic violence.

But if we continue to reduce this to commentary, outrage cycles and polarised opinion pieces, the statistics will not change. We cannot demand emotional capability while refusing to participate in building it. We cannot criticise men for failing to meet expectations while remaining silent about how those expectations are formed, modelled and taught. We cannot keep debating identity in theory while families continue to bury sons, partners and fathers in reality.

So how about we try something else!

We are embarking on an 18 month journey, kicking off with fireside discussions and culminating in a group of 30+ people coming together on a four-week journey of continuous conversation.

We will provide a space to have uncomfortable conversations, examine our own narratives, challenge the extremes on both sides and debate what may and may not work. To reflect on what we have seen, what has influenced our behaviour for the better, what has been supportive and how we have supported others. And importantly to open the door on what we fear about the conversations we know we need to have.

Because this is not a man's issue - the grief and pain, the emotional load and household burden, the increased risk of self harm to children - this effects everyone.

The result:

We will identify:

Small conversation changers
Ways to raise concerns
Ways to engage more effectively with each other
Ways to come together and strengthen one another
And things that we haven't even thought of

and then we will flood every platform we can to change the stories we tell and the way we engage with one another!

Because this is not about defending men. It is about strengthening families, protecting children and reducing preventable loss. Because if we do nothing different nothing changes. And the cost of that inaction is not abstract, it is measured in empty chairs, unanswered calls and futures that never unfold.
The cost of an uncomfortable conversation is not worth paying the price of avoiding it.